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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

It's That Time Again

We've reached our final TIB submission deadline of the semester. Leave your parting thoughts here.

7 comments:

  1. I tend to see my self as the opposite of a girly- girl that squeals and says silly blonde things and can’t throw a baseball. But that night in the theatre, with our necks cranked at an awkward angle in order to properly view Harry Potter, he quietly slipped his hand into mine, and in my head the suppressed girly- girl squealed, “Oh my goodness he’s holding my hand!!!!” and butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

    In the progression of time, the butterflies have since diminished. The relationship has slowed down, and the monotony of a significant other residing two hundred miles away has set in. The adventures that occurred so often have become few and far between. Some weeks seem longer than others. In recent months, the fights and arguments over insignificant events have grown more vehement. Perhaps it’s time to take a break, I thought, with pessimism and gloominess overcoming the first date full of fluttering butterflies.

    I went to a concert last night. I was very excited, but I was sure he would fall asleep, like he always does. He doesn’t mean to, we just have different tastes I guess. It breaks my heart to see my elation toward music go in one of his ears and out the other. What a waste. The band advanced onto the stage through the mist and the darkness. Suddenly, lights flooded the theatre, guitars roared, and voices pierced the silence. The audience rose, all of us. A smile spread across my face as I took in the magnificence and envied those on stage. For the first time in a long while, his hand slipped around my waist, I looked back, and on his face, a grin existed that I also hadn’t seen in a long while. And butterflies fluttered in my stomach. A feeling rekindled, a relationship not lost, as I imagined it to be. I believe in butterflies.

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  2. This won’t be eloquently written. I promise. The words won’t line up right and flow but, that’s ok because really I don’t think beliefs are supposed to be so clear. I think they have clauses and sometimes we make exceptions to the rules. We let some wrongs in our lives slip by because in some other way the wrongs somehow manage to exceed our expectation of good and right. That’s the lovely thing about forgiveness.
    Balloons, flowers and groceries. Money for clothes. The occasional I love you text message. The way you are always on my side. Even when I later realize I’m wrong. Letting me cry and break down but, having the guts to tell me when to suck it up and be a big girl. Running off and getting engaged without telling me. Taking too many photos when you know you will never get them developed. Putting too much makeup on me when I was five and expecting me not to play with your make up regularly. Getting me the puppy I wanted even though you knew you’d be taking care of it because you realized I was lonely. Just being my mom
    Rocking out 4th back last year. Being the one I talk about relationships with because secretly I’m jealous of yours. Constantly competing with each other for the better grade but, then just making fun of the ridiculous articles in cosmopolitan after comparing test scores. We are 20 we can read that without getting weird looks now. Sleep overs. O’Charley’s on Sundays because you know I love Chicken Tortilla Soup. Yelling at me on my Birthday...telling me I’m inconsiderate because I couldn’t pick up my birthday gift on your schedule. Penguins named Leo and Fred. Manicures and Pedicures at least every other month to maintain our sanity. Just being my rooms.
    We all screw up sometimes. No one is ever perfect. We all have problems and mental break downs and heartbreaks and days where we can’t muster up the energy to care. It’s life. It wears us down. No one said it was going to be easy. It’s actually really hard. Life is hard. If anything I think the screw up moments show us how to appreciate the good ones. How would we be able to figure out what we think and what we believe if we didn’t figure out what rubbed us wrong first? If we had never been lied to or cheated on or pushed around we wouldn’t realize the potential pain we can cause others to go through. I believe in the screw up moments. I believe in forgiving the screw up moments so can end good notes rather than bad ones. I believe you believe what you personally experience more than just what you are told to believe.

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  3. I believe in a cup of black spice tea at breakfast in my usual mug- the one Amanda gave me as a Christmas present a few years ago- something to savor and urge my unwilling feet onward to class.
    I believe in another cup after said class- using the same bag from breakfast and of course my faithful mug. This time, I’ll draw for a while and ignore the homework as I listen to music.
    I believe in chamomile tea at lunch with a sandwich and an essay halfway finished, but then pushed temporarily aside for more interesting conversation and better access to my flimsy cardboard cup.
    I believe in preparing a fresh cup of my favorite spice to get through that mid-afternoon weariness, a weariness that comes after the last class of the day and inevitably makes me want to curl up in my quilt.
    I believe in tea with dessert at dinner- usually the nice rooibos chai provided by the cafeteria in the brown mugs that take me back to Bill’s Donuts on weekday mornings.
    I believe in making one final mug before bed, as I finish that essay and listen to a Belle and Sebastian album. As the bag steeps in the microwave-heated water, I can smell the herbs dissolving and mixing and I instantly begin to relax. The water has been dyed a deep chestnut color and I close my eyes with the first sip- feeling my lips and mouth and throat and chest warm as the liquid completes its journey. I think of my dad’s cabinet full of black and green and white teas, English and Irish breakfasts, Roi de Soleil, and strange loose-leaf concoctions. My sister has a less sophisticated version of the cabinet in her apartment, adjacent to the well-loved coffee maker. I think of my mom’s special tea thermos- child sized because she is far too small to endure even measly amounts of caffeine. I think of chai lattes consumed in the snow, my hands wrapped around the cup, as if that could make the Chicago wind dissipate. I think of mint tea with honey drunk down in about three gulps and the food and the family that accompany that memory. I think of Friday afternoon tea with my future roommate, a bag of cookies, and a stack of rice cakes. I think of tea dates with my mom and her quest for the perfect blend. I think of study sessions and asking for a large mug of your most caffeinated tea please. Thank you.
    I believe I will make another mug of tea- just one more before I finish this essay and finally go to sleep.

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  4. I believe in wigs, costumes, bigger breasts than mine, and high heels. I believe in jokes and sly smiles and embarrassed men and their erections. I believe in lip syncing and dancing in those ridiculously high heels. I believe in falling down in heels and getting back up and smiling prettily to the crowd because you can still walk in heels a million billion better times than I can. I believe in getting too excited and giving all your dollars away before you realize it. I believe in digging into your back pocket for a dollar and being disappointed when your just met with pocket lint. I believe in borrowing a dollar from your neighbor when you run out. I believe in dresses that are conservative. I believe in dresses that barely hide anything. I believe in difficult wardrobe changes and grandiose costumes and costumes that may just consist of some tape covering up the important bits. I believe in dollar kisses that get lipstick smeared all over your face. I believe in laughter and good times. I believe in drag and I believe in queens.

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  5. I hardly know what to say. This all just seems so sudden.

    Belief does not come easily to me. I’ve never been someone who hears a story and takes it as fact without at least googling the damn thing to see whether it pans out. But now I find myself wide-eyed and credulous, finding new convictions every day, like the opposite of growing up. Like coming home to myself.

    There are so many things I intended to believe in and I just didn’t get the chance.

    I believe in blue skies and thunderstorms.

    I believe that women are more than incubators.

    I believe that every day I can dress up as a different version of myself.

    I believe in science.

    I believe in music.

    I believe in art.

    I believe in being nice to people.

    I believe there is a difference between not hiding your light under a bushel basket and shining it painfully into someone else’s eyes.

    I believe in skepticism.
    I believe that there is nothing so scary in this world as being on the cusp of adulthood, not even those spiders in Brazil that bite people’s faces.

    I believe that, no matter what Vampire Weekend has to say on the matter, some people *do* give a fuck about an Oxford comma, and that there isn’t anything wrong with that.

    I believe in parents and their children.

    I believe in British television.

    I believe that popular culture has given us unrealistic expectations about relationships, and that the real thing is simultaneously more and less than any movie could ever show.

    I believe in teachers, because despite studies that show that teaching style does not affect learning style, teachers have made all the difference for me.

    I believe in all of these things, but most of all I believe in endings. I believe that a good ending leaves things unsaid. I believe that a good ending can feel a lot like a beginning. This I believe.

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  6. I have struggled with the right words to truly capture what our friendship means to me. Transy hasn’t always been the perfect fit for me, but Transy brought me to you and I have absolutely no regrets because of that. I still can’t quite remember how we ended up on a walk together that first week of college, but I do distinctly remember deciding that you were best friend in Kentucky…which quickly became a facebook official marriage … which has slowly grown into my most cherished and dearest of friendships. These past four years we have learned how to cook meals, do laundry, and pay bills together. We’ve held our arms above our heads in true Molly Pittman fashion and been wild on some of the greatest nights of our lives and we’ve held each other, sobbing hysterically, through some of the worst moments we’ve had to endure yet. We’ve grown-up together over these past few years, and in a way we’ve kind of raised each other. You know all my deepest, darkest secrets, all my flaws, and all my insecurities and you love me the same. I know this is the cheesiest (and a little lesbian- especially in reference to the facebook marriage previously) but I really feel like our friendship is a true depiction of how people were meant to love and care for each other. It’s not jealous, it is not boastful or envious, it does not judge, it is not easily angered – it always protects, always trusts, always preserves. Reflecting back on all of our memories at Transy there is no better partner in crime I could have had, no crazier college years I could have experienced, and no greater gift I could have gained then that of your friendship. So many things have changed in our lives throughout these four years, but our friendship is the one thing that has endured with ease. I’m nearly positive that we have never had a single argument – not one. We have the type of relationship where we are 100% open and honest, and we truly want what is best for the other. It’s so special, Molly. I am so sad to see this chapter in our lives close, but at the same time so excited to see what’s in store for us next. You are a part of me, Molly, and you will be a part of every big decision I make from here on out. You are my happy place and my own personal haven of sanity and stability. It’s pretty safe to say that we will never be too far from each other, but I know that wherever I end up, and however my life turns out, I will always have a best friend who loves me unconditionally, and that’s worth all the gold and all the puppies in all the world.

    I love you to Mollski, and I believe in whole heartedly in our friendship.

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  7. Autumn:

    The autumn leaves fall
    Man runs swiftly through the woods
    Far from murder scene

    Bunk Beds:

    I took the bottom bunk
    He wanted the top one. Wake!
    Dried vomit in hair

    10:30 Registration:

    A rare joy that is
    A great class registration
    No Thursday classes.

    Rollercoaster Tycoon:

    New Rollercoaster!
    Really sweet loops and corkscrews!
    Unfinished track? Oops!

    Sloths:

    I met a sloth once
    It tried to caress my face
    We could be best friends!


    Kroger’s, Morehead KY:

    Carried carrot cake.
    Two men argue at the door
    Narrowly escape


    Bandits:

    Have no bandit hat
    I modified a tube sock
    Let’s hide dolls, at last.

    I believe in haiku.

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